I have been with my mom for 5-6 years.
We have been formulation upon conceiving the initial kid soon.
This will be the initial grandbaby for my wife’s relatives as well as my mom. (My father is dead).
My mom thinks she is starting to be unresolved out with my wife’s family once you have the child.
She talks about carrying get-togethers as well as spending all this time with my in-laws.
My mom is divorced, has no boyfriend, as well as has minimal friends.
Her side of the family lives 2 hours divided so she doesn’t see them which much.
As shortly as you do should you design the family groups to association all of the time?
I instruct to keep my mom divided from my in-laws given she has talked really bad about them as well as has been bold to them in the past.
Can’t you usually keep it to the minimum, similar to usually have my mom see my in-laws during birthdays as well as competition games.
What is “normal”????
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I think the situation differs with the type of parents that you have. I know that having the first grandchild on both sides of the family caused heaps of problems for my husband and I. I had a C section to have my baby and then had the grandparents on both sides on my door sometimes 3 times a week. My mum tried to help, but my husbands side of the family just seemed to hang. Sunday night I would find myself trying to bath my new baby while cooking dinner for everyone, who had just not left. They wouldn’t let my daughter cry at all. So I ended up with a baby that expected to be picked up all the time. We got through it, but I think ground rules need to be set from the start, so you can enjoy your baby without feeling smothered.
My in laws and parents are very different people and do not get along. I make sure that my daughter spends time with both of them, but keep the two families apart. My daughter does not need to be around the fighting. My mother and dads mom never got along. So, I know how tough it is being a child and having your family fight around you.
my husbaand has never met my mother he has met my father niether of our parents have met the children yet we have been together 4 years my mother refuses to come here she wants us to go to her but with kids flying and driving 20 hrs awy is hard as for his parents they are both very ill they are always in and out of hospital and they live far away to but i think keeping it to min if that what you both want then go for it
Sometimes two families just don’t mesh well, for whatever reason. In our house, I make the efforts to get together with my family and hubby looks after getting together with his. There is no reason they have to socialize with each other, nor any reason you have to encourage it (it will happen at weddings or major events involving your child though). Take turns inviting them to your child’s school or sports events…
I don’t believe two families unite… two people unite and make a new family.
My parents and in-laws usually only see each other when we invite them both to our activites, even though they both live close by. This happens like once every 6 months or so. Although there are times when my step-dad will stop by my in-laws’ store or house and talk to them. In your case it sounds like your mom is lonely and she wants to get together with your in-laws. I think you should be straight forward with how you feel about her trying to become friends with your in-laws, and then suggest that maybe she try and make friends elsewhere.
I dont’ really know what normal is but my parents & MIL have never ‘hung out” together. My parents have been to my MILs house to see her but only because my fahter is a minister & MIL is a member where he was preaching. We’ve never had family gatherings where they are all together. The only time they ever are together is at my girls birhtday parties.